38 weeks

I want to write her name in the sky.
And watch it blow away in the wind.
 
I want to scream her name with joy
Pronouncing every syllable
Savoring each sound like fine wine
Or rich chocolate cake.

I want to fold perfect paper airplanes filled with each letter
And fly them into space.
 
I want her name in a bottle
Across the sea.

I want her name to mean something in this world.
I want to know it is more than a whisper from my mouth
Or a dream inside my head.

I want the idea of her to be
Honored and exalted.
              She is holy and her name is holy
 
Her name is my love
Her name is forgiveness
Redemption
And light
Her name is my devotion
my loss
my grief
my pain
my wonder

Her name is my secret

My heart is broken but when they cut it open, no matter how they poke and prod,
her name will remain in my swishing heartbeat
in the oxygen that fills my body
Lifting my exhaustion.

It is her name that pulls at my heart
Making it beat faster

She's the angel that pushed me down to earth with my broken heart
The only sign of her remaining in the indentation
of her fingertip above my lips.
Her fingertip that erased my memory
leaving me with a lifetime of searching for the answer
to some foggy thought I can't quite catch

She's the piece that will mend my broken heart
not enough for perfection, but enough for life
So, she doesn't have to save me again

Her name is a blessing
She is my blessing
May her memory be a blessing

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